Taking Care of “The Inside”
I recently had the privilege of serving as the distinguished speaker at a high school graduation. Here is a portion of the speech I gave to the graduates:
Solanco Class of 2024, This evening, I want to share a story with you about a lesson I learned from my late grandfather, Elmer Wade, who the grandkids called Pap-Pap. He was part of the Quarryville High School graduating class of 1954 and served the Solanco community for 56 years as owner of Stoner-Wade Ford in Quarryville. As a car salesman, he loved a clean car, and I mean, he loved a clean car. At home, Pap Pap always sat in his recliner near the front window on his lunch break, watching the Price is Right. That meant he kept a close eye on our cars as we pulled up to swim, letting us know if they looked good or if they needed to be washed. When my car looked clean, I pulled to the top of the driveway so Pap-Pap could see it. When my car wasn’t clean, I parked it lower on the driveway, under a tree, where he couldn’t see it.
One summer day in 2005, I spent hours shining up my 1999 Ford Explorer Sport to impress my grandfather. I headed to my grandparents’ house to swim and proudly pulled to the top of their driveway. I could see Pap-Pap’s white hair through the window, sitting at his usual spot. A little later, he got up, walked outside, and looked closer at my car; everything was going as I had planned. But then something unexpected happened: he walked towards my driver's side door, reached out his hand, and as he opened it to look inside, a plastic water bottle fell onto the driveway. Pap-Pap looked at me and said, “The outside looks great, but don’t forget to take care of the inside.” I had spent all my time worrying about how the outside of the car looked and neglected to invest any time in taking care of the inside. Of course, as a 19-year-old, I didn’t think much about what my grandfather said to me at the time, but later in life, it hit me.
Fast-forward to 2015. I was 29 years old, and life was going according to plan. My wife and I celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary, we had two precious daughters, and recently built a new home in Quarryville. I taught 7th Grade Social Studies at Swift Middle School and coached Solanco’s High School basketball team alongside head coach Dr. Long while continuing my education to become a principal. Much like the story about my car, everything appeared shined up on the outside. But on the inside, I was struggling. I would lie awake at night with a rapid heartbeat and a cold sweat as my mind would race. I began to lose interest in things I previously enjoyed. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and my stomach was in knots. I told myself to just snap out of it, but I couldn’t escape it. The same cycle of sleepless nights, anxious days, and living in fear continued for months. I was battling anxiety and depression, and I kept it all to myself. Yet there I was, teaching and coaching, a husband and father with a smile on my face as if everything was okay. No one would have guessed the inner struggle I was experiencing. I was only 29 years old and had nothing left to give. I thought I had to hold it all together for everyone else, and in the chaos of life’s events, I failed to see that I had forgotten to take care of the inside.
Class of 2024 - listen closely as I share three life lessons I learned from that difficult season of my life:
The first lesson: Prioritize your heart. As I opened up to a mentor about my struggles with anxiety and depression, he asked me a powerful question: “Zac, where’s your heart right now?” Paul Tripp describes the heart as the control center of your personhood; it's the center of your thoughts, it’s the center of your desires, it’s the center of your emotions, it’s the center of your purposes and your motivations. The heart is what drives you, it is what controls you, it is what shapes your living. You have got to be concerned about your heart” (Tripp, 2021). I had never thought much about my heart and its impact on my life. Like the inside of my car, our hearts are not something people typically see, but like the empty water bottle falling out when my grandfather opened the door, everything we do overflows from our hearts.
This time of year, many graduation speeches will be filled with speakers telling graduates to follow their hearts, but that couldn’t be further from the truth as our human hearts can easily deceive us. Instead of following your heart, follow God’s heart. Spend time daily in the Word of God as you journey through life. No matter where you go or what you do - God’s Word is a lamp for your feet and a light for your path (Psalm 119:105). Follow the Word, not the world. And as you prioritize your heart; pray always. As David Mathis says, “You have God’s ear; don’t waste it” (Mathis, 2016). Class of 2024, in a world focused on the outside, take care of the inside - Prioritize your heart.
Lesson two: Don’t fight your battles alone. Another question my mentor asked me as I opened up about my struggle with anxiety was, “Who’s Coming With You?” Unfortunately, as we go through life, we often experience the illusion that we can live life independently. God did not design us to walk through this life alone, and we are made to be in community with one another. He puts people along our path because we need them, and they need us. As my wife told me, “You are human; you can’t do it all yourself; quit trying to.” For far too long, I tried fighting my battles alone. As I opened up to people around me about my struggles with anxiety and depression, I quickly learned they were ready to fight my battle with me, and it lightened my load immensely. I encourage you to identify a group of trusted friends and family members to bring along on life’s journey. As you do that, share your story. When we share our stories, our eyes and hearts are opened to the people and stories around us. You can find peace and comfort in not fighting your battles alone. Class of 2024, it’s okay to ask for help. Don’t fight your battles alone.
Lesson three: As you prioritize your heart and bring people on your journey, Step outside of your comfort zone and step into your calling. Growing up, there was an underpass heading outside of Quarryville. I called it “The Tunnel.” When I was a kid, and my mom said we were going somewhere, I would ask her, “Is it outside the tunnel?” If she said it was, I would throw a fit. I didn’t want to leave the comfort of Quarryville. You see, outside the tunnel was outside my comfort zone. The tunnel later became a metaphor for my journey through anxiety and depression. I spent too many years fighting to stay in my comfort zone, failing to maximize the gifts God had given me. Here’s the lesson I learned: God often puts us in situations where we realize growth and comfort can’t co-exist. You each have unique gifts, talents, and abilities - step out of your comfort zone and maximize those gifts. One of my favorite quotes is from Teddy Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” In a world looking down at our phones into the lives of everyone else, look up. Don’t allow comparison to keep you in your comfort zone, stealing your joy, and holding you back from sharing your gifts with the world. Class of 2024, be strong and courageous, it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and step into your calling.
Let me close with this: A few months ago, I received an unexpected email from my 4th-grade teacher, Mrs. Balderston. The email brought me to tears as I read the last line: “God Bless you, Dr. B., I’m proud of you.” Class of 2024, I’m proud of you; your family is proud of you, your friends are proud of you, your teachers are proud of you, and the entire Solanco Community is proud of you. As you leave Solanco High School tonight and journey through life, “Don’t forget to take care of the inside.” Well done, and Congratulations!
