Yellow Light Leadership: Slowing Down to Connect with People
This blog is adapted from my new book, Leading with People: A Six Pillar Framework For Fruitful Leadership
Traffic lights are awesome. Actually, yellow and red lights are my favorite. Do you know why? They force us to slow down and stop. Okay, I’m kidding; I’m not a fan of red or yellow lights. I don’t like traffic or stop signs either. I have things to do, places I need to go - there’s no time for stopping! I’m sure many of us prefer traffic lights to be green so we can get where we want to go, continuing from one thing to another. We’ve all been there, driving to what’s next on our agenda full speed ahead, when suddenly we approach a traffic light. As we approach the light, it turns from green to yellow. This is the point where usually one of two things occur.
Many people think a yellow light means speeding up, so we hit the gas even harder because we don’t want to stop when the light turns red. We speed through the yellow light as we see it turn to red before we get completely through the intersection.
Others of us tap the breaks to slow down and prepare to decide whether it’s best to stop or if there’s enough time to drive through the yellow light at a slower speed.
Be honest. Do you lead like driver #1 or driver #2?
Let’s examine the traffic light for our life and leadership. We are the car speeding down the road moving from one place to another. We don’t want to slow down, and we certainly don’t want to stop. A traffic light is the last thing we want to see. We don’t want anyone or anything disrupting our timing, our schedule, our plan.
As we pump the breaks and slow down, the faces of the people around us become clearer.
But guess what? The yellow light symbolizes the need for us to slow down. When we slow down, we look out for other people. When we speed up, we look out for ourselves. As we continue to speed from point A to point B, we forget to slow down and ultimately miss what’s around us. When we’re “driving fast,” people around us look blurry out of our peripheral vision, sometimes not even noticing them. As we pump the breaks and slow down, the faces of the people around us become clearer. Slowing down allows us to assess the needs of the people around us. Far too often, we speed through life. We speed through every moment of every day, focused on task completion and what is coming next. We miss the people around us when we live at such a hurried pace. They are a blur in our peripheral vision as we speed right by.
The yellow light reminds us to slow down to see the people around us more clearly. The red light symbolizes stopping. When we slow down, we are more in tune with whether we need to come to a complete stop. Picture walking in the hallway of your home, school, business, or workplace. We’re often speed walking to get where we need to go. Along the way, we pass by people at a high rate of speed with possibly a quick nod or hello. Instead, we need to purposefully walk slower, allowing our surroundings to become more clear and decide if we need to come to a complete stop.
We miss the people around us when we live at such a hurried pace.
Like driver #1 described earlier, I like green lights; I want to keep going. Yellow light? I know what that means; speed up so I don’t have to stop; there’s no time for stopping. We need to lead differently. Let’s embrace “yellow lights.” Let’s look forward to slowing down and making everything around us clearer. Let’s prepare to come to a complete stop. Do you know what happens when we stop at red lights? It allows others to go before us. That’s leadership - putting others before ourselves. Do you know what happens when we see a yellow light and speed up? We’re like an 18-wheel tractor-trailer barreling down the road, not wanting anyone or anything to get in our way. Let’s be intentional about slowing down and taking in everything around us.
Hurry Sickness
So why do we speed through yellow lights? In our society today, we try to do too many things at one time, struggling to sit still. Our minds are constantly pulled, limiting our time in deep thought and deep relationships. We’re always in a hurry. We spend most of our days switching our brains from surface-level thought to surface-level thought, with surface-level relationships limiting our connection with the people around us. We’re antsy, jittery, and always ready to randomly touch a phone and scroll. Like an internet browser, our brains have so many tabs open at the top that we quickly shift back and forth between tabs, never being able to close one fully.
Before I know it, I have multiple browsers open with a growing number of tabs in each browser, and my mind can’t grasp it all. Also, many of those tabs are action related because I’ve said yes to so many things that I’m constantly running back and forth between browsers and tabs (husband, father, coaching, principal, church, etc.). Do you know what happens to my computer when I have too many browsers and tabs open? The computer stops operating efficiently and effectively, and a loud fan comes on. The first thing I usually do is call the technology department to tell them my computer is functioning slowly and there’s a loud noise coming from the laptop. It’s as if I think they can save the day. Instead, I get the dreaded response that they say so kindly, “Did you try restarting your computer?” The last thing I want to do is restart my computer, even though I know that’s what it needs. And after my computer restarts, I need to be intentional about not opening more browsers and tabs than the computer can handle. The same goes for us as leaders. We try and do too many things, significantly limiting our full potential. We often get so busy that we fail to see we need a “restart.” When we operate this way, we miss our true calling as leaders - the people around us.
In a world and society that is moving faster and faster, embrace the yellow light, slow down, and look around to the needs of others.
Dr. Caroline Leaf is a Christian Neuroscientist who uses the term milkshake multitasking. Her research has found that one of the plagues of modern existence is multitasking, leading to hurry sickness and obsessive time management. Many of us live with a constant feeling of hurry, “needing” to get things done at all times. Dr. Leaf shares that the lack of quality in our thought lives and poor focusing of attention is the complete opposite of how our brains are designed to function. She notes, “Every rapid, incomplete, and poor quality shift of thought is like making a milkshake with your brain cells and neurochemicals” (Leaf, 2022). As leaders, we must lead differently by slowing down and not trying to do it all. We may think we are “doing” a lot, but more than likely, we are missing leading the people around us and failing to empathize with their needs, wants, and desires.
I have found the days I am the “busiest” or “need to get things done” are when someone needs me the most. I’m confident I missed many moments connecting with my wife, my kids, a friend, or a coworker because I was in a hurry. Are you weighed down by trying to do too much - trying to be too much? In a world and society that is moving faster and faster, embrace the yellow light, slow down, and look around to the needs of others.
Reflection Questions:
How do you typically react when faced with metaphorical "yellow lights" in your leadership journey? Do you tend to speed up, prioritizing tasks and objectives, or do you take the opportunity to slow down, observe, and connect with the people around you?
Reflect on a recent instance where you felt the pressure to constantly "keep going" in your leadership role. How might embracing the metaphorical "yellow lights" have allowed you to better connect with your team members or those you lead?
Consider the concept of "hurry sickness" discussed in the blog post. Are there areas in your leadership approach where you recognize symptoms of hurry sickness, such as multitasking or obsessive time management? How might intentionally slowing down improve your effectiveness as a leader and deepen your connections with others?
Challenge:
Take intentional steps to embrace the "yellow lights" in your leadership journey. Instead of rushing through tasks and objectives, pause to connect with the people around you. Whether it's a team member, colleague, or family member, make a conscious effort to slow down, listen, and understand their needs. Reflect on how this intentional slowing down impacts your relationships and overall effectiveness as a leader. Share your experiences and insights with others, inspiring them to also prioritize people.
