CONNECTIONS: Strengthened Through Weakness

Originally posted on ConnectEDD.org

My pastor often says, “If the situation seems beyond what you can do, you're in a perfect spot for what God can do.” In 2015, that’s precisely where I was–in a situation that seemed beyond what I could do. Everything seemed to go as planned until that point: I was born into a wonderful family with parents who loved the Lord, and I had two wonderful sisters. My school years went well socially, academically, and athletically. I graduated high school and went to college pursuing a teaching degree and playing basketball. During my senior year of college, I got engaged to my high school sweetheart; I then graduated from college and earned my first teaching position. My wife and I had our first child and moved into a new home. I was teaching and coaching basketball in my home school district, just like I had always planned. However, there was a problem, a problem that I wasn’t seeing. I was attempting to coast through life on my strength. 

Fast Forward to 2015. I was happily married with two beautiful daughters, a teaching position, coaching basketball, good health, a master’s degree, and wonderful friends and family. In fact, I was perfectly comfortable right where I was. That’s when things began to change. The best way to describe it is that I started to feel “off,” and that feeling of being “off” only worsened with time. I had no idea what was happening, but I would awaken in the middle of the night, heart pounding, sweating, with restless legs, and unable to fall back asleep. My mind began constantly racing with worries and fears throughout the day and night.  I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think, I thought I was sick, and I was scared. 

I tried to hide it. I went through each day with a smile on my face. I hid the worry, fear, and pain on the inside. I felt physically sick–pain in my chest and constant nausea. I tried to tell myself to just snap out of it, but with no relief.  I would fall asleep just fine each night because I was exhausted from sleeping very little the night before, combined with the worry and fear I battled throughout the day. However, before I knew it, I would wake up early in the morning and the vicious cycle would repeat. I fought to remain strong for myself, my wife, my kids, and all those around me, so I kept it all to myself, which only deepened my discomfort. I was supposed to hide it, right? I was supposed to have it all together, but deep down, I knew I had no strength left on my own. 

I gradually began to open up to others about how I was feeling and gained an unbelievable amount of support. I began to take those sleepless nights and turn them into prayer, scripture memorization, and journaling. I humbled myself before the Lord, recognizing I could do nothing apart from Him. In my difficulties, I didn’t see how much God was softening my heart through the struggles to shape it for my leadership journey ahead. Earlier I mentioned I was comfortable; however, God often puts us in situations where we realize growth and comfort cannot coexist.  He was shaping my heart to be a better husband, father, friend, son, principal, and better at whatever else lies ahead. God was making me more approachable, gentle, loving, and kind to all those I led. He showed me that life is not all about me; it’s not about my comfort. It’s all about people, serving others, and stretching ourselves outside of comfort zones to leverage our God-given talents and abilities. Much like the lyrics of Cory Asbury’s song “Father’s House” (2020), what looked to me like weakness, was a canvas for God's strength. When we humble ourselves and give God our weakness, he gives us His strength. 

The situation in 2015 was beyond what I could do, but I was certainly in a perfect place for what God could do. Through those quiet mornings, I began to establish a 7-S Model routine to start each day which I outline in my new book: Leading with a Humble Heart: A 40-Day Devotional for Leaders:

Space  I was intentional about creating space to be with God.

Stillness In the chaos, I quieted myself before the Lord.

Surrender  I recognized I could do nothing apart from Him.

Study  I read God’s Word.

Scribe  I journaled.

Supplication  I asked God to provide the strength I needed for each day.

Serve I headed out to humbly and confidently serve others.

Leading with a Humble Heart is inspired by my weakness and God’s strength. It aims to quiet ourselves as leaders, to help us be still each morning, and allows us to spend 40 days with God in His Word, reflecting on our leadership for transformational leadership wisdom. When it comes to leadership, we often neglect the book that can truly transform our hearts,  relationships, and leadership: the bare Word of God. 

Like my challenges in 2015,  leadership is hard, and we often experience significant trials and testing periods. You may be coming out of a recent leadership trial, in the midst of one, or heading into a challenging leadership season. Leading with a Humble Heart is an invitation for leaders to stare those leadership challenges  in the face through humility and confidence that can only be found in God’s Word and prayer. Humble enough to know that apart from Christ, we can do nothing, and confident enough to know in Him, we can do all things.  

As I reflect on 2015, I wouldn’t trade it for anything - for when I am weak,  I am made strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).  Next time you are feeling weak, delight in it and turn upward to God.  Your weakness is the portal to His strength (Tripp, 2010). 

Thanks so much to Zac for this post and to all educators reading this and for the amazing work you are doing during these challenging times.

As always, Teach and Lead with Passion...